12                    “THE O-PIP”
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THE AGONY COLUMN

"Mazie—Keep on sticking around that guy, and wait till I get leave. Remember the Malcom case. —Al.’’

“Nell—You refer to the night before we left. Sorry, Sapho, I don’t remember what happened that night. Ask John Barleycorn. —Lauder.”

Would you like us to send you some parcels? —Daughters of the Empire.

The only sensible enquiry we have had this month. —Ed.

Are the French girls as pretty as we are?—Anxious Godaiming.
“We’ll tell you when we’ve been on leave to Paris. —Ed.

If “Bright Eyes” is so anxious to help the soldiers, please send “Lysol’s” instead of “Keatings” at a baby. —Ed.

What is this camouflage I hear of so often? —Allotment.
Camouflage is sheet grass. It comes in 15-foot rolls. Fool your neighbours by spreading some on your allotment. You can obtain it from any Q.-M. if you tickle his palm right. —Ed.

Betty, Edinburgh—Regarding your application for Society Editor of this paper, I may say that we have no need for such an official now, as here we live like Adam. However, please send us the latest fashions from home, says in regard to spats, Ingersols, insect powders and hug-me-tights. —Ed.

Violet—Yes, we do need some good washerwomen, but we would appreciate bachelor buttons now. Your suggestion about the kilt will receive the consideration of the O.C. —Ed.

Bunty—We are unable to engage you as cook. What we need now arc blacksmiths. You see we only get biscuits and bully. —Ed.