6                      “THE O-PIP”
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THINGS WE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW.

If the war will be over by Xmas, and which Xmas?
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Who said: “Oh, to be in England now that France is here?”
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Which No. 1 tried to conceal himself from aerial observation by holding a green bush over himself? Who said he was green enough without it?
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Why Fritz saves Friday night for his big strafes?
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Which officer sent his batman from the guns to the wagon lines to get his issue cigarettes?
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If there are any other brands of cigarettes and tobacco that the government has not issued to us?
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What driver, when in Witley, said :“If I need a pair of pants and see a dead Heine, I’ll take his pants off,” and when he really saw a dead Heine said : “Hurry up and bury him or I’ll —— ’’?
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The name of the signaller, who, on being awakened when the gas alarm sounded, and told to put on his respirator, reached over for his sock?
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Why is it we’re always on the move? Can’t we pay the rent?
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Is there any bottom to the soil of France?
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Does Heine still hope to win, and what are his ideas? Concrete ideas?
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If there’s a better job in the army than being a Y.M.C.A. general?
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What do they mean by “Back to the wagon lines for a rest?
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If there is a Y.M.C.A. man left who can’t swear now?
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Who was the S.-M. who said it was just as safe at the guns as it is at the wagon lines?
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How do they stop a French cart coming down hill? Why, the gunners have chloride in their water, and the officers don’t?
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Who is this person called Mad Jack?
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We always thought firemen were brave?