letter # 87

HMCS Iroquois
c/o GPO London
Mar 29/45

My Darling,

I am slightly disgruntled on account of just about everybody in the ship got mail except me. A lot of them are brand new too, Mar 20th and thereabouts. My last was Mar 7th, so I am definitely being seen off. What happened to make you stop loving me? You must have stopped loving me or you’d have written. I guess you finally got wise to me! Is that it? Cant say I blame you, but its awfully hard on me. When I dont get letters, I’m not my usual efficient self, and that’s not good for the ship. It might even have a profound effect on the outcome of the war! So you see its your patriotic duty to keep on loving me and writing lots of letters. As for my own letters, I believe I explained how they work in inverse ratio etc etc. I’ll always love you, and you know it.

I’ve another complaint too. Those tasty little fish aren’t biting today at all. It was cold and windy, but a few of the hardiest of us stuck it for a while. Some of the boys got a few, but they ignored my bait entirely. Last time I was fishing there were thousands of them. Im told now that they are young pollock. Damned if I know. Maybe they’re temperamental, and only bite at certain times.

I told you about the dog, “Bones”. He was a very fine dog, but not really keen on a seafaring life! He went AWOL in the port we shanghaied him from, and hasn’t been seen since. One of the stokers has a pup, but he keeps in their mess most of the time. Tiny little thing, very lively and happy. He allows it up on deck when we’re in harbor and it scampers around making friends with everybody (Even the Cox’n) Not a very intelligent doggie, is he? How is your Jill? Will she be on top line for the grouse this fall? I’ll have to promote a shotgun from somewhere. No more deer-hunting for me. From now on its fish and grouse and pheasants because I can take my wife! Have you ever fired a shotgun? You’ll soon catch on, with a COA to instruct you!

Make and mend today, so everybody who wasn’t duty hit the beach. I had a little work to do, but that didn’t take long, so I started two buckets of dhobie and went fishing in between. Fishing was unsuccessful, as related above, and the dhobie is not going so well either. Its a bad day all around. One of those days it doesnt pay to get up. Anyhow its nice and quiet in the mess for a change, all the noisy people are ashore, so I can do this and maybe one to one of my other correspondents. Who shall be the lucky individual? Worth, I guess. Havent written to him for a long time. Tell Len he owes me a letter. Im not really sure he does, or if its the other way around, but it will be safer to accuse him. Maybe he doesnt know either.

I think I’ll go and beat hell out of my dhobie for a few minutes, and maybe change the mixture. Back soon! – Here I am, everything rinsed and blued. Im a real scientific dhobie merchant now. If I could only iron, I’d start a firm. Now I only have two dungarees and two blue shirts to do. They require more energy, but nothing to cry about if they are off color. You’d cry if you saw my white shirts. The blue helps, but they can never by any stretch of the imagination be called truly white. This batch is a sort of bluish gray.

According to the wireless tonight, the Allies are going ahead to beat hell in Germany. Maybe by the time you receive this they will be in Berlin, and the European war just about packed up! Once thats settled, it wont take long to clean up the Japs, and then your troubles start. Do you really believe you can stand me 365 days a year? Thats what your in for! 366 some years. Nights too! Poor Wannie!

Well you buttered your bread and now you have to lie in it. Im glad! Never mind dareling, theres three of you now. Between you you should be able to keep me in line.

Jerry Wilmot also told us there is to be an eclipse of the sun, visible in BC, coming off very soon. Last one was 1932, and the next 1956 so be sure you dont miss it. Dig out your darkest dark specs in plenty of time, they dont last long. Its usually a cloudy day too, from what I remember of previous eclipses. Saw one dandy one though, way back in my youth.

I think I know whats wrong with Evelyn when she has tantrums. Its exactly the same symptoms I produce, when mail comes aboard and theres none for me! I’ll have another chance tomorrow, and if there’s no mail then I’ll put on an exhibition of tantrums that you will hear all the way to 1807 Oak Bay Ave! Dont take me too seriously, darling, you know better than that! I know its not your fault, its just my tough luck. Lots of letters tomorrow, I bet. Cheerio, sweetheart, and all my love. Regards to the rest of our family and friends.

Your devoted slave
Les