THE STAR-SHELL
Under the Auspices of the 43rd Batt. BRASS Band
Vol. 1 “SOMEWHERE”, WEDNESDAY, JULY 12, 1916 No. 1
THE INNOVATION OF THE “STAR-SHELL”
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HAVING BEEN FORTUNATE enough to discover a printing machine complete with type amidst the ruins of (censored), one of the “bboys” conceived the brilliant notion of printing a souvenir paper, hence the reason of this issue.
I have been asked by the printing “boss” to apologise for the typographical effort as he has to work under difficulties such as being under shell-fire, etc. The type also is not everything that could be desired owing to “Fritz” having dropped a few “H.E.’s” and shells of various other calibre on our composing room, thereby covering everything with lime, plaster, etc.
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THE BRASS BAND
The Brass Band of the 43rd battalion, C.E.F., was the only brass band who had the honor of crossing the Channel with instruments and without rifles, the other bands having to shoulder the rifle and smuggle their instruments over; we were therefore under the impression that we were a “recognized” band. “Hi Presto!” Appearances are deceptive. At the time of going to press we are attached to the Engineers as the Brigade Machine Gun Implacement Construction Corps. We hope to be allowed to stay on the job until it is completed, despite having no rations for three days. This is only one of many branches of the service the band has been engaged upon while “at the front.” Besides being music-fans, we have been pioneers, stretcher bearers, harness cleaners, waggon washers, carpenters, painters and other things too numerous to mention. Some joke on the band.
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PERSONAL
WE REGRET TO state we have lost several of the band boys since coming to France, in the persons of Sergt. Glenham, Lc.-Corp. Pettigrew, “Jock” Tiley, Bill Graham and Les Simpson. The N.C.O.’s were wounded while on working parties; glad to say the wounds inflicted were not very serious, and we all hope they will have a speedy recovery. Privates Tiley, Graham and Simpson sustained injuries behind the line, and all managed to work a “blighty” (lucky beggars). We hope “Old Jock” won’t spread too much “bull” while He is Home in Bristol, WHere He was fortunate enougu to be sent. We all WisH Bill GraHam a good time at BrigHton; WHicH place do you like better Bill, BrigHton or Margate? We Hear Simpson Has captured a prize at a WHist drive Held at NorWicH Hospital. Was it [?]?
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THINGS WE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW
Who is the guy who has travelled for 42 years in Canada and the States and yet is only 20 years of age?
Who is the guy in the cook-house who makes tea with the leaves of the cherry tree – must be some relation to George Washington?
Who is responsible for the band not receiving rations for three days?
Who is the Chink that has opened an estaminet here for the benefit of the boys?
How is the Choker’s bum toe progressing? Does he still pad his left leg with newspapers, etc., to make it track?
If a certain Stewarton gink has seen the paymaster lately, as we have not seen him around bumming fags for a heluva time?
Who is the guy that has been looking for a home for the last three days and because he is unable to locate one made an attempt [?] commit suicide by dropping a brick on his toe?
Who is the lance-jack who has all the hair rubbed off his pate trying to polish it?
Who has stolen the band parts of “Will Ye No Come Back Again?” and “the one on the back?”
Do the proprietors of a certain laundry business on Portage Ave. think it a business proposition to open a laundry here?
Is it true the Moose Horn “German” band played one of our band boys away on his leaving for the front?
Who is the guy while on sentry duty was accosted by an officer who wanted to know if he was going duck shooting?
Are we a “fair weather” band?
Who is the guy in the band that is the only man in the battalion in step?
Who were the band fellows on sentry every morning before reveille had sounded?
Is it true a certain cornet player intends to get married after the war and proposes to start a butcher business?
Who said the cooks could play ball? Have the Mulligan Kings recovered from the defeats inflicted on them by the band?
Why did the girl at Boissevain stop corresponding with Sam Hill? Who put her wise?
Did the band boys enjoy themselves at S––, and keep the dates they made with certain madamoiselles there?
Who is the guy that ate his comrade’s mulligan when the comrade was away hunting up hard tack?
Who stole the jam?
Who missed the last train from Margate?
Is it possible to identify one of the bunch by his sneeze?
Who is the guy on the march who walks syncopation?
Has our comrade in Blighty found his “ray of sunshine” yet?
What does Edinburgh whiskey taste like?
Who said they made cheese in Lancashire? Cheese it!
Is the cook with a bum knee trying to work a Blighty?
Who is the Irish-Canadian clarionet player in the band that has not yet blown a note with us? Is he scared?
Is it true a certain young lady at Eecke intends to accompany one of the band boys to his homestead in the Moose Horn district after the war?
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UNDER THE RUINS
(With Apologies to Longfellow.)
Under the ruined walls of ––
Lives the 43rd Brass Band;
They are hard to beat, and the more they eat
The more their belts expand.
Their faces are black; their whiskers are long,
They steal whate’re they can.
Their brows are wet with sweat, you bet,
From the breath of another man.
“Weak” in, “weak” out, from morn till night,
You can hear their corporal roar
Like the angry howl of a hungry wolf,
But the bandsmen only snore.
There are no children coming home from school
To look in at the dug-out door
And watch the rats and mice and lice
That are crawling o’re the floor.
They go on Sunday to their beds,
Which makes the corporal swear,
For if there’s any work to do
None of the boys are there.
Their motto is “Down with the drink.”
That’s their motto, sure enough;
But down their throats is where they want
To put the blooming stuff.
Pinching, bumming, borrowing;
Onward through life they go.
Each morning sees their task begun;
Each evening (I don’t know).
Something attempted, nothing done,
Then back to bed they go.
–– PIBALD PETE.
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SOCIETY NOTES
Bandsman Bush has gone to jail for two months.
Bandsman Davidson has been sober since last week.
Lance-Corporal Murdock, of Toronto, is a guest at the Whispering Villa.
Fergy left yesterday for New York to purchase two ha’pennies for a penny.
Corporal Parle, of Souris is spending the week-end here. Has the Macdonald act gone into force?
The wife of Bandsman Haycock gave birth to twin sons this morning. Roy, you are THE limit.
Lance-Corporal Whittaker is spending a week-end here with his youngest daughter. What’s wrong, sister?The Herald brothers have been the guests of Sloppy Ann since last Sunday. They say it is just like home.
Bandsmen Burke and McKean are spending a day or two in the “Model.” They are cooking for their board and lodgings.
Bandsman Ed. Thomas and family are the guests of his brother Reg. for the week-end. Are you sore on the family, Ed.?
The friends of Sich Powell will be pleased to learn that he has left town to spend a holiday somewhere. That is about as much as he will spend.
The undermentioned bandsmen are in town for two or three days, so keep your doors and windows fastened: R.G. Wilson, Belfast; Tommy Jimlinson, Glasgow; Andy Mould, Salisbury; Pat Doak, Belfast; “The Choker,” Wick; Edison Garvin, Melville; Andy Orr, Stewarton, and Sam Hill, Gimli.
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For the last two or three nights we have received a rum deal in regard to our rations, but we hear on good authority that we are to receive a rum issue with the rations tonight.
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GENERAL NOTES
Try a wash, Davie.
We miss the good repartee between the “Roundhouse” and “Gog-eye.”
Andy Orr is credited with being the originator of the saying – “Gie’s a tag.” Andy ought to be given a “little” credit for keeping the saying alive, too.
Members of the Brigade Machine Gun Implacement Construction Corps will please note the following order, to take effect this date: All buttons and boots must be polished daily. Any man not complying with the order will be shot at sunset.
Members of the band will be gratified to hear they have been paid a great compliment by the Manitoba Free Press of May 26, which states that “the 43rd battalion was the possessor of one of the finest brass bands that left Canada.” We would like them to hear us now.
Frank Farley, of Regina, who for many years was head bummer and general nuisance for the “Regina Leader,” was one of the applicants for the post vacant on the staff of “The Star-Shell.” The directors of this journal, however, considered him inefficient for the position and told him to “beat it”, so he is now appointed drummer in the brass band.
The work of the Brigade Machine Gun Implacement Construction Corps is progressing satisfactorily under the supervision of Lieut. Vanderberg, who is ably assisted by Lance-Corporal Murdock, of the Engineers. As mentioned elsewhere, we only hope to remain on the job until it’s completion. There is only one thing lacking so far, and that is we have received no rum issue but hear this matter is having the attention of the “ones in authority.”
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AMUSEMENTS
THEA RE DE LUXE – What promises to be a first class show a the De Luxe is on the boards for this week. The headliner is a great acrobatic stunt by the famous Thomas Bros. Company. Both Daylight and Baldy are as young as ever, and will be seen at their best in a thrilling exhibition of wire-pulling and juggling. Next of importance on the bill is the genial Curly McKean with his six o’clock (get up) smile and wide-awake feet. Mac’s latest song is “Go Easy With the Monkey-wrench; Father’s a Nut.” The next weak stunt is C.H. Chinka, the man with the cast-iron teeth. Chinka can put up an excellent exhibition of long and loud cating. Next comes Senor Parle, who gives and excellent display of bull throwing. Great credit is due the greaser. Handy Andy will give and exhibition of stretcher-bearing at the double, while the band will play the well known airs, “I’m All In, Sergeant,” and “I Want You Boys to Witness This.” Then comes Dainty Davey, from Manitou, in “Putting One Over the M.O.” Wee Bobby, or “King Poo-Poo,” provides great entertainment for the children in his “good and straight” talk on “The Evils of Booze.” The movie film is a feature, showing the “Choker” in “We’re Here Today and Gone Tomorrow,” or “Gott Strafe the Wicked Hun.” The show will be given each night till the end of the week.
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BUSINESS CARDS
JITNEYS – Comfortable and fast. – Morden Jitney Co., Ltd. Phone Morden 259. C. Bush, Manager
LAUNDRY – Send all your laundry to Thomas Bros., corner Portage and Toronto. First class work guaranteed. Phone Main 499.
GOOD EATS – Go to the Caestre Estaminet. Pay as you enter. – C.H. Powell, Prop.
G.K. DAVIDSON – Coal and Wood Merchant, Manitou. Also private banking in spare time.
ANDREW ORR – First class plumber (bummer). – No. 43. 5th Ave., Regina.
D. FERGUSON – Horse dealer, Moose Horn. Ginger mares with fat legs a specialty.
Original Scans
